Monday, April 13, 2009

Another Camden Update

Some of you may have been following my saga of Camden and trying to figure out what is causing him to behave so miserably in public and in large groups. Our district preschool enrolled him a few months ago to observe him more. They called me last week to discuss their observations with me. I knew he was struggling, but again, I did not realize the severity of the struggles.

Camden's social skills are low for his age. To make it harder on the poor boy, he is as tall as most 5 and 6 year olds, but he is barely turning 4, so people think he is older than he is and expect him to behave like an older child. To make it even harder, he is about a year ahead in his language skills, so that throws people off too. The observer told me Camden does not play "with" other kids. He will play next to them, but not with them. I never realized that he wasn't actually playing with other children. His only real interaction with the children at preschool is to be aggressive and confrontational. He will seek out adults and ignore the other children while at school.

The special education evaluator and I had a long talk. I asked her flat out if there was a chance Camden had Asperger syndrome. She said she thinks that is a real possibility and I should discuss it with his pediatrician. Although I threw that word out there, I truly did not expect to hear that yes, the observing team had talked about that word in relationship to Camden for quite awhile. It is devestating to hear. I do worry for his future. While I think he will go far in life, I worry about his social life and how school will be for him. It's hard enough in this world without adding in having a hard time socially.

The special education teacher did point out that he may just be socially behind and it may resolve itself over the next few years. She also pointed out that he is the oldest child and used to being around adults, so maybe he just doesn't know how to handle social situations yet or prefers talking to adults because that is what he knows.

We have an appointment with Camden't pediatrician in a week. Hopefully after talking to him we can get some answers, or even just some clear direction of what to do next. No matter what, he is still my beautiful, intelligent, wonderful little boy. As his mother, I will fight to help him become the best he can be.


Dawnyel said...

*hugs to you* Sounds like you're handling this whole thing VERY well. If you DO break down, or need to vent email me!
Good luck with the dr appt.

Rebuild Shattered Dreams. said...

Its good to see you have children who aren't perfect.I see you have one of my adorable children on your website. Where the Wild Things Live.

I was cleaning off my email and saw the one you sent out to the Ellis' family. I want you to know that I do have a website and I'm on facebook and twitter.

You have a cute family. Your aunt LaRene Ellis

Diana Mancuso said...

It must have been hard hearing about Camden's social skills. I can't remember exactly how I was at his age but I remember in Kindergarten having a preference to play on my own and growing more attached to my teachers than my peers. It ended up being that way even through high school. I just seemed to relate better to adults. I don't know, maybe it's not the same thing but maybe you can take some reassurance in knowing that I turned out okay. At least, I think so! Hang in there!

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Dauphyfan said...

You don't know me, but I just came across your blog (via Taking the Road Less Travled)and felt an immediate connection to your story. I also teach English and am a mother as well. My son has some "issues" as well. There was always something a little unusual about him socially and we chased our tail for years about what could be going on before finally getting a real diagnosis last year from a neurologist and our pediatrician.

I hope you find some peace of mind in knowing that there are resources out there and you definitly are not alone. Take care.

MadEnglishWoman40 said...

Hi. I can really identify with you, as my son has had various struggles over the years, including behavioural issues, fighting, you name it. Because I've only started blogging recently, none of those are yet documented-but they will be when I can find the time!It sounds like you're working really hard to do all you can for your son, & I wish you all the best.
Feel free to take a look at my blog sometime?
Kind regards,

MadEnglishWoman40 said... do I "link to your blog"? I don't understand all this authority business-I'm a real idiot with technology. Please help! Thanks :-)

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Well, I can't help but jump in here. Give him time to become who he is intended to be. I have a 10 year old who at 2 wouldn't talk to anyone, had zero social skills at 4 and the list goes on. He has turned into the most charming, sweet, loveable, normally socialized boy. I say don't be so quick to put a medical name to his unique set of social skills. Let him become who he is intended to be in the time HE needs to do so.

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