Monday, May 15, 2006

My Life Monday - Week 2



Welcome to week two of "My Life Monday"! I can't wait to read how you met your spouse and got together. Please don't forget to add your link and add a comment if you complete today's MLM.

Week 2 - The Story of My Spouse

I moved to my current town in 1998 after graduating college. I got my first teaching job in redneck ville and that facilitated a move. My job out here came to pass in an unusual way (I'll have to tell that story sometime). This was not where I was planning on living and I was very nervous about the move. One day while driving in my car, I asked the Lord why I was moving to redneck town. I felt strongly that I would meet my husband in this town and that made the move easier.

After living here about six months, I had made a few friends, but wasn't dating. Most of the guys were younger than me and very much rednecks and cowboys. There is nothing wrong with men like that, but they are totally not for me. I was beginning to think I was wrong about my earlier impression about why I moved to this town. But then I met Mark.

We met in a totally cliche way. He was the friend of a friend. We were at an LDS Institute activity one night in March of 1999 when my friend J introduced me to Mark. Right away I was taken by his gigantic-ness - his height of 6'8" tall and his Goliath spirit. We started talking that night and I found out he was divorced with two children. He was older than me and actually cultured - not into redneck stuff in any way! I was gun shy because of some previous dating experiences, so all I really wanted was a friend. I figured I would take the time to get to know him better and see what, if anything, happened.

We formed a Family Home Evening group with a bunch of other singles and started hanging out on a regular basis. Within a week I was totally hooked on Mark. We had so much in common. We could almost complete each other's sentences right away. We became instant best friends. In meeting Mark, my spirit recognized him. I knew that somehow I had known him before. And meeting again was like we had never been apart. I remember the first time I hugged him. In all the guys I had dated before, I always felt something was missing in the hug. It was like I needed something bigger to hug. And when I hugged Mark for that first time, my spirit sighed and said, "This is the size you've been looking for."

We talked and hung out together almost every night. Within a month, we started a relationship. Mark actually kissed me before he ever asked me out (I tease him about that all the time). We started dating, but Mark was very gun shy. He had been through an awful divorce and was afraid of being hurt again. Because of that, he broke it off with me several times, only to start our relationship again. I knew he loved me and I loved him, but he had too many demons to pursue a relationship with his full being. Finally, in June of 1999, Mark came to me and broke my heart for what we both thought would be the final time. He told me he had prayed about it and felt that we were not supposed to be together. I knew that I could not change his mind and that if we were meant to be together, the Lord would have to change his mind.

We remained best friends. We still hung out on a regular basis. I kept falling more and more in love. We both dated other people a bit, but nothing could replace Mark in my heart. I knew that somehow I needed to let him go and move on, especially if he felt it wasn't right. I took all of my feelings and put them in what I called my Mark box. I put all my feelings, hopes, and dreams and locked them in that mental box. There they would stay. I would continue to be his friend, be happy for him if he found somebody else, and move on with my own life.

But life or fate or heavenly powers had a way of bringing us together again and again. One beautiful day in early August, Mark and I went hiking with other friends. It was a wonderful, fun filled day. We went to the temple as a group that evening to top off our perfect day. When we came out of the temple that night, a man was waiting in a car for Mark. I found out later it was his ex brother-in-law. He told Mark that his youngest son, Tyler, had drowned earlier that evening. I will never forget watching that giant man collapse into a puddle of tears in that dark parking lot. (Tyler's death is another blog all together, so I will save the full story for a later date.) I knew I would do anything to help Mark through this difficult time. I made sure he ate, and got to work, and did anything else I could to help him through this tragedy. This was just one experience that brought us closer. A few months after Tyler's death, I went through a difficult time and Mark was there for me.

Even with all that, Mark still felt we weren't meant to be together. In spite of his feelings we weren't meant to get married, we continued to grow closer and become even better friends. I still felt like we were supposed to be together, but never mentioned it to Mark. I knew the Lord would have to smack him over the head to get Mark to change his mind. And you know what? That's exactly what the Lord did. He gave Mark a grand-mal seizure in November of 1999. The doctors could never find a reason for his seizure and he has never had one since. I feel the Lord was sending a clear message to Mark. As a result of his seizure, Mark couldn't drive for 6 months. He had to go to doctor appointments out in Salt Lake, so I volunteered to take him.

On our way out to his appointments, we engineered a way for me to get into his appointments with him. We figured they wouldn't let us in if I was just a friend, so we decided to pretend we were engaged. We even made up a wedding date - July 4th. So all day long as we went from doctor to doctor, we told them we were engaged and I was able to go to all his appointments with him. After all the appointments, we decided to take our joke a little bit further. We went to Anniversary Inn and looked at rooms for our supposed upcoming honeymoon. We found a room we loved and looked into its availability for July 4th of the coming summer.

Driving home that night, my heart was hurting again. We had spent the whole day pretending to be engaged and I loved every second of it. I only wished it was real! I had opened my Mark box and let all those bottled up feelings have free reign for that one day. But I knew that I would have to put them away for good this time and wondered how I could possibly do it. I told Mark that we needed to let each other go for good. We could remain friends, but had to let go of the love. I told him I had been praying for months now to be able to let him go, that if it wasn't meant to be, the feelings would be taken away. He agreed with me that we needed to let this go once and for all.

When we got back to his place that night, we knelt to say a prayer together. Mark prayed that we could let our feelings for each other go and let each other go. Much of what occurred that night is too sacred to share, but after the prayer, Mark told me he knew we were meant to be together. He had a strong impression during the prayer telling him I was "the one." I was kind of in shock and disbelief and afraid to open my heart. I was afraid he would tell me this just to break it off again later, so I wanted us both to be sure. Mark told me that night that he was sure, but it took me a little longer. After a few days of pondering and praying, I knew again he was the one. When I told him that, he dropped to the floor in my kitchen and proposed. We literally went from best friends to engaged overnight without ever dating again. We were married 8 months later on July 7th, 2000 (we got married as close to July 4th as we could).

If you want to read Mark's version, check out this post.

So that's the story of us - how we met and got together. I love Mark more than ever. He is the best father and the best husband. I'm grateful he is in my life. He and Cam are truly my greatest blessings.

I can't wait to read your stories! Post when you have yours done and I will check it out. And for week 3, your topic is: My parents named me __________ because . . . Tell us about your name. Do you like it or dislike it? Would you name yourself something else? Does your name fit you? Share all your thoughts and feelings on your name. If you prefer to keep your name anonymous, be creative. I think names are fascinating to learn about!

The auto link below is only for MLM.


31 comments:

emlouisa said...

What a great story!!!! It took Greg a while to figure out that I was "The One" he wanted to marry too. I knew WAY before he did! He actually broke up with me THREE times because we were getting too serious and he thought we weren't ready for marriage. (partly because I was so young) I was devastated! So was he though and we always ended up back together.

Ah, love.

Char said...

I read your dh's version a couple of weeks ago...SO sweet!

itybtyfrog said...

What a great love story. I am so glad you finally got together after going through so much together.

Dawnyel said...

This story is GREAT!! I loved reading both versions!!

Nikkie said...

What a great story! Thank you for sharing it!

1tiredmama said...

I love hearing all stories of how people met! Yours is great!

ABC Momma said...

I got a little misty-eyed reading this. Thanks for sharing it. My story is up too.

The Constant Gardener said...

That is an awesome story! Dh and I broke off our engagement at one point....we were both devastated and quickly remedied that one!

ps...I've been trying to post a comment here for hours and was just finally able to. I can get off the computer satisfied now.

Valarie said...

That's such a sweet story. I think it makes everything easier when you've had experiences like that before you get married.

Gabriela said...

I am so glad you ended up together, after all the pretending! I can't believe you went and looked at Anniversary Inn. Too funny. I think that's where we went for our first anniversary.

Carrie said...

Love your story. Awesome.:) I will go read your hubbys, too.

Maine Mom said...

Wow! That must have been hard to lock those feelings away while maintaing your friendship with Mark! I'm glad you both finally received the confirmation that you were meant to be together, and this story has a happy ending :-)

Goslyn said...

What a story. You are a tenacious woman! I am impressed that you hung in there through all of that.

My story is up, too.

BigSister said...

Awesome beginnings!!! Someday I will have to get Dave to tell the story of us (mine's posted but he's the better story-teller). Thank you so much for sharing!

Andrea said...

great story!!

Stephanie said...

Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Your story had me BAWLING! What a solid foundation the two of you built together. I LOVE your story.

I am so glad you shared this.

EmilyRoseJewel said...

What a sweet story, mine has similar parts to yours. We broke up and took time to pray and got back together on Aug. 13th, 2001. Married the next Aug. 3rd, 2002. I need to do a post on this sometime! Thanks for the inspiration and thanks for visiting my blog!

scraphappymama said...

You amaze me, the strength to maintain a friendship when your feelings ran much deeper than that. You definitely have a solid foundation. Thanks for the MLM, it feels good to have finally written the story of how I met dh for my kids.

ubercyl said...

I have joined the MLMs.

Lolly said...

FUN topic! Sorry I'm a day late! Your story is so sweet and I'm glad you stuck it out!

Pattie the Domesticator said...

Wow, what a touching story. I am so happy he figured out you were "the one".... :)

Jane said...

I loved hearing your story!
I added mine too. I hope the link thing works. I am sorry in advance if I screwed it up again.
LOL!

Katy said...

I love your story. The best things come to those who wait - which I know you can testify to!

Nicole said...

What a sweet story, and such cute picture!

Gina said...

I love your story. Very touching how you two finally came to know what was right. I love how much time you spent together as friends and how you took care of him and how you pretended to be engaged. What fun memories!!!

Diana - Teacher Mom said...

What a great story Rachelle!

I think I'm going to post an MLM next week. Thanks for the topic.

Stacy said...

Ok - I joined. Now I hope I can keep on top of things!

soleclaw said...

What a beautiful story. I love love!

My post is up now, too. And I'm starting on week 3 early so I can actually have it up on Monday!

Mama Darlin' said...

In all my excitement to keep reading all the fun stories after yours I forgot to post on Monday, how wonderful your story is! Thanks for sharing such an inspiring tale of compassion and faith!

QueenMeadow said...

I'm totally late, sorry.

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