My Life Monday - Week 2

Welcome to week two of "My Life Monday"! I can't wait to read how you met your spouse and got together. Please don't forget to add your link and add a comment if you complete today's MLM.

Week 2 - The Story of My Spouse

I moved to my current town in 1998 after graduating college. I got my first teaching job in redneck ville and that facilitated a move. My job out here came to pass in an unusual way (I'll have to tell that story sometime). This was not where I was planning on living and I was very nervous about the move. One day while driving in my car, I asked the Lord why I was moving to redneck town. I felt strongly that I would meet my husband in this town and that made the move easier.

After living here about six months, I had made a few friends, but wasn't dating. Most of the guys were younger than me and very much rednecks and cowboys. There is nothing wrong with men like that, but they are totally not for me. I was beginning to think I was wrong about my earlier impression about why I moved to this town. But then I met Mark.

We met in a totally cliche way. He was the friend of a friend. We were at an LDS Institute activity one night in March of 1999 when my friend J introduced me to Mark. Right away I was taken by his gigantic-ness - his height of 6'8" tall and his Goliath spirit. We started talking that night and I found out he was divorced with two children. He was older than me and actually cultured - not into redneck stuff in any way! I was gun shy because of some previous dating experiences, so all I really wanted was a friend. I figured I would take the time to get to know him better and see what, if anything, happened.

We formed a Family Home Evening group with a bunch of other singles and started hanging out on a regular basis. Within a week I was totally hooked on Mark. We had so much in common. We could almost complete each other's sentences right away. We became instant best friends. In meeting Mark, my spirit recognized him. I knew that somehow I had known him before. And meeting again was like we had never been apart. I remember the first time I hugged him. In all the guys I had dated before, I always felt something was missing in the hug. It was like I needed something bigger to hug. And when I hugged Mark for that first time, my spirit sighed and said, "This is the size you've been looking for."

We talked and hung out together almost every night. Within a month, we started a relationship. Mark actually kissed me before he ever asked me out (I tease him about that all the time). We started dating, but Mark was very gun shy. He had been through an awful divorce and was afraid of being hurt again. Because of that, he broke it off with me several times, only to start our relationship again. I knew he loved me and I loved him, but he had too many demons to pursue a relationship with his full being. Finally, in June of 1999, Mark came to me and broke my heart for what we both thought would be the final time. He told me he had prayed about it and felt that we were not supposed to be together. I knew that I could not change his mind and that if we were meant to be together, the Lord would have to change his mind.

We remained best friends. We still hung out on a regular basis. I kept falling more and more in love. We both dated other people a bit, but nothing could replace Mark in my heart. I knew that somehow I needed to let him go and move on, especially if he felt it wasn't right. I took all of my feelings and put them in what I called my Mark box. I put all my feelings, hopes, and dreams and locked them in that mental box. There they would stay. I would continue to be his friend, be happy for him if he found somebody else, and move on with my own life.

But life or fate or heavenly powers had a way of bringing us together again and again. One beautiful day in early August, Mark and I went hiking with other friends. It was a wonderful, fun filled day. We went to the temple as a group that evening to top off our perfect day. When we came out of the temple that night, a man was waiting in a car for Mark. I found out later it was his ex brother-in-law. He told Mark that his youngest son, Tyler, had drowned earlier that evening. I will never forget watching that giant man collapse into a puddle of tears in that dark parking lot. (Tyler's death is another blog all together, so I will save the full story for a later date.) I knew I would do anything to help Mark through this difficult time. I made sure he ate, and got to work, and did anything else I could to help him through this tragedy. This was just one experience that brought us closer. A few months after Tyler's death, I went through a difficult time and Mark was there for me.

Even with all that, Mark still felt we weren't meant to be together. In spite of his feelings we weren't meant to get married, we continued to grow closer and become even better friends. I still felt like we were supposed to be together, but never mentioned it to Mark. I knew the Lord would have to smack him over the head to get Mark to change his mind. And you know what? That's exactly what the Lord did. He gave Mark a grand-mal seizure in November of 1999. The doctors could never find a reason for his seizure and he has never had one since. I feel the Lord was sending a clear message to Mark. As a result of his seizure, Mark couldn't drive for 6 months. He had to go to doctor appointments out in Salt Lake, so I volunteered to take him.

On our way out to his appointments, we engineered a way for me to get into his appointments with him. We figured they wouldn't let us in if I was just a friend, so we decided to pretend we were engaged. We even made up a wedding date - July 4th. So all day long as we went from doctor to doctor, we told them we were engaged and I was able to go to all his appointments with him. After all the appointments, we decided to take our joke a little bit further. We went to Anniversary Inn and looked at rooms for our supposed upcoming honeymoon. We found a room we loved and looked into its availability for July 4th of the coming summer.

Driving home that night, my heart was hurting again. We had spent the whole day pretending to be engaged and I loved every second of it. I only wished it was real! I had opened my Mark box and let all those bottled up feelings have free reign for that one day. But I knew that I would have to put them away for good this time and wondered how I could possibly do it. I told Mark that we needed to let each other go for good. We could remain friends, but had to let go of the love. I told him I had been praying for months now to be able to let him go, that if it wasn't meant to be, the feelings would be taken away. He agreed with me that we needed to let this go once and for all.

When we got back to his place that night, we knelt to say a prayer together. Mark prayed that we could let our feelings for each other go and let each other go. Much of what occurred that night is too sacred to share, but after the prayer, Mark told me he knew we were meant to be together. He had a strong impression during the prayer telling him I was "the one." I was kind of in shock and disbelief and afraid to open my heart. I was afraid he would tell me this just to break it off again later, so I wanted us both to be sure. Mark told me that night that he was sure, but it took me a little longer. After a few days of pondering and praying, I knew again he was the one. When I told him that, he dropped to the floor in my kitchen and proposed. We literally went from best friends to engaged overnight without ever dating again. We were married 8 months later on July 7th, 2000 (we got married as close to July 4th as we could).

If you want to read Mark's version, check out this post.

So that's the story of us - how we met and got together. I love Mark more than ever. He is the best father and the best husband. I'm grateful he is in my life. He and Cam are truly my greatest blessings.

I can't wait to read your stories! Post when you have yours done and I will check it out. And for week 3, your topic is: My parents named me __________ because . . . Tell us about your name. Do you like it or dislike it? Would you name yourself something else? Does your name fit you? Share all your thoughts and feelings on your name. If you prefer to keep your name anonymous, be creative. I think names are fascinating to learn about!

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