I blame you!

Curse you blogging world! I cannot pull myself away from you. I go from blog to blog, reading, laughing, commiserating. I leave comments, read other comments, and then use those comments to lnk me to even more blogs. I surf my new, nifty blog ring. I am sucked into this blogging world and I cannot escape. Do you not realize I have over 80 poorly written 8th grade essays that I promised I would grade and return by Thursday? That is two days away and how many have I done? 1.5! That's it since I have been at work today. I blame you blogging world! If you weren't so entertaining, I could pull myself away and grade those essays. But alas, you are much more fun (and better written) and so I put the essay down once again and say, "Just one more blog. Only one more." You are my drug. I cannot break the craving to read another blog. I shall once again, for the nth time today, try to pull myself away and get my work done.

Am I the only one who suffers from this addiction? Are there others of you out there avoiding something, anything (work, children, cooking, cleaning, etc) to read another blog? Please let me know I am not alone. Maybe I (we?) need to start bloggers anonymous.

Simple Pleasures Monday

If you didn't read last week, feel free to join us for "Simple Pleasures Monday."

One of my favorite things is dressing my son. In spite of the wiggling, wrestling, flipping gymnastics my son engages in while trying to clothe his body, I love dressing him. I love playing with him and talking to him as I put the daily outfit on. I love the smiles he gives me as I do it. And I love seeing how cute a particular outfit looks on him. After the socks, shirts, pants, sweaters, etc. go on, I have to stand him up and coo over the adorable outfit. On an almost daily basis, after I have dressed Cam, I take him to Mark exclaiming over the cuteness of my son and what he is wearing. You'd think I'd get sick of doing that or get sick of saying that about the same outfits. Because surely I must put him in the same outfits over and over again. But I don't. Because my son has enough outfits to clothe a small country. I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but Cam can go weeks without wearing the same outfit (unless we are having poop explosions and then we go through them much quicker).

You need to know something about me. I am a complete ebay addict. You can find anything on ebay! (Well, except an unwanted child, because I did search for that once during the infertility and came up with no results.) And as an ebay addict, one my my FAVORITE things is to shop for clothes for my son. When I first found out I was having a boy, I was a bit sad because everybody knows girls have cuter clothes. I'd been through the baby section in Walmart many times and noticed all the cute togs for girls and all the cookie cutter sameness for boys. So I resigned myself to boring old shirts and jeans. And then one day, during the latter part of my pregnancy, I had the urge to look at baby boys clothes on ebay. EUREKA! Tons of cute stuff! More than that, there were great prices for almost new brand name stuff. From then on, I was hooked.

Every few months, the urge comes to buy more clothes for Camden. Luckily enough for me, Cam grows fast enough that clothes shopping for him that often is more of a necessity than a want. And so I hit ebay. I search through the myriad of auctions, looking for the clothes that scream "Camden" or "cute" to me. And then I watch and bid. And wait for packages to arrive in the mail. And carefully wash and fold the clothes, sorted into style and size. And then the real fun begins (not that the hunt and buy process isn't fun enough).

Each night before bed, I plan what I am going to wear. And each night before bed, I plan what Camden is going to wear. I go through the clothes, sometimes picking out my favorites, sometimes looking for something that hasn't been worn in awhile. I lay his clothes out next to the changing table - shirt, pants, socks, bib, etc. It's all carefully laid out, waiting for the next day. And when he wakes in the morning (especially if we have new stuff or someplace special to go), I race in to dress him and once again admire his cuteness and his adorable outfits. I don't let Mark dress him or choose out his outfits. Not because he can't, but just because it brings me so much pleasure to dress my son.

Can you imagine what will happen if the next one is a girl?

*Tomorrow I shall complete Jennifer's tag. But since today is Monday, I had to do my Simple Pleasures. And I didn't do it over the weekend since I was sick. Something for my devoted? readers to look forward to.*

Fun video montage site

I was able to create this montage of Camden for free. Check it out and get your own!

"Camden and the Dog" - a photo essay

Somehow my previous post disappeared. So I am trying again. I apologize to anybody who navigated to this page and found half a post.

I've

mentioned before how Camden likes to chew on the dog's toys and I let him. I'm so up for mother of the year. Here, in all it's glory, is the story.

*Getting out cartoon announcer voice*
In today's episode of "Camden and the Dog," our fearless hero attempts to steal the evil Shih Tzu's toy and, (drum roll please) chew on it. Will he be successful? Will the dog thwart his efforts? What about that mother figure? Will she interfere? Read on to find out!


First comes the innocent look. "I'm not doing anything Mom." Uh huh. Right. Like I believe that.

Camden gives the toy to the dog to chew on first. See how well he shares? And only 9 months too. *Beaming with motherly pride right now.*

Tai Beaux (the dog) gives Camden a few licks, telling him how much he likes Cam. Cam thinks the licks tickle, hence his semi smile. What Camden doesn't realize is the dog is really telling Camden how much he wants the toy and that if Cam doesn't hand it over, his fingers are in danger of being nipped. The only thing stopping the dog is that I am in the room. Tai knows better than to bite the hand that feeds him. Or bite the hand of the one Mommy still nurses.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Camden inches the toy closer to his mouth. The dog places a warning paw on Camden's hand. Mom, perfectly aware of the immense danger a 12 pound Shih Tzu represents, watches on. Who needs safety when you have a great photo op?

Success at last! The toy is Cam's! And it goes (as most things do) straight into the mouth. Yum Yum! Doggy germs!

Toy in hand, Camden falls to the floor, laughing and taunting the dog who remains on the couch. Tai stares at him and wonders, " How much trouble will I get in if I pounce on Camden." The answer, my dear pup, depends on how hard you land on him and whether or not you make him cry.

To add the final insult, Camden puts the toy back in his mouth with one last laugh. Our hero has conquered again!

And that, my dear friends, is the end of our story today. Join us next time for more adventures of "Camden and the Dog." (cartoon announcer voice again)

Simple Pleasures Monday

I'm starting a new Monday blog and I hope some of you will join me. I call it "Simple Pleasures Monday" (not very creative I know, but hey, it is Monday morning). Each Monday, choose a topic, any topic, and post about the simple pleasures in your life related to that topic. I know I need to count my blessings more and this will help me to do it. It will also help me slow down and notice the simple pleasures in the little things in life that I am often too busy to notice. I hope some of you will join me in this weekly posting! If you do, please leave me a note in the comments and I will be sure to check out your blog!

So for my topic this week:

Simple Pleasures of a sleeping baby (And early morning feedings)

Nothing is quite as beautiful as a sleeping child. Whether Camden is asleep for the night, or just a nap, I love to watch him sleep. His long lashes, his rosy cheeks, the way his mouth moves in a slight sucking motion as he sleeps - it's pure beauty. I love the way his little hands go to little fists and lay by his mouth as he curls up on his side. I love the little noises he makes in his sleep. It is one of my favorite things, one of my most simple pleasures, to walk in his room and watch him sleep. Only the fear of waking him up makes me leave the room.

I also love having some "me" time! With work and such, I feel guilty taking time for myself if Camden is awake, so his sleeping is my time. I either take a nap, read a book, play on the computer, or, if I really feel the need (and my house shows a need - which is often!), I clean. I love having a little break and indulging in a few things just for me. Of course, if Mark is at home (not working or at school), I love the time with him! Time to talk, time to cuddle, and sometimes, even time for sex! (which is the best use of the time.) And the best part about Camden sleeping is sleeping myself. Saturday's and Sunday's are guarantee nap for me when Camden naps.

As strange as it may sound, I also love feeding Camden in the night. I didn't in the beginning - I HATED it! But now that we do one feeding a night, usually in the early morning, I enjoy it. It's the only time anymore that Camden doesn't fight me on breastfeeding - he'll actually latch on and feed for more than 5 minutes. I love how his little face turns to me, seeking the comfort and nourishment that is best provided by mom. I love how his fingers run aimlessly through the bottom of my hair. I love the power of breastmilk. He'll be wide awake at the start of the feeding, but by the end he is slipping back into slumber. I love watching how his little eyes start to close and that contented look comes across his face as his belly is full again. It's also so fun to cuddle him in the night when he is not wiggling. Sometimes I linger a few extra minutes to give a little longer snuggle before putting him back in his crib for purely selfish reasons - because I love to have him near me and know these feedings won't last much longer.

Simple pleasures. That's what life is made of.

(And how many times did I say "love" in that post? A virtual plate of brownies to anybody who cares to count. I realized after that as an English teacher, I sure did use the same word a lot.)

Random of the day

I read in one of my baby magazines today that the average parent loses 700 hours of sleep in the first year of a child's life. That's 58 hours a month or almost 2 hours a night. Wow. I knew I was sleeping less, but didn't realize it could be that much.

So, question of the day - How many of you are feeling that sleep loss today?

Luckily enough, today I am not. Camden slept through for the first time in a week. Yay!

What a way to start the day

Some mornings are just crazy. The kind that makes you want to climb back in bed and just stay there. Today was one of those mornings.

My son is funny. Or at least he thinks he is funny. Or at least he does funny things. When he wakes at night, he doesn't cry. He just lays in his crib, talking to himself and playing with his pacifiers. Last night was 0ne of those nights. Camden decided to do that "talking to himself" thing from 3 am to 4 am. He was fed, warm, and comfy, but didn't want to go back to sleep. Of course, as his parents, we try to sleep, but those little giggles keep waking us up and almost make us giggle. Almost.

That wasn't funny enough for him. Next he decided to start the day at 5:45 am (I was up already). Not really a problem, but it does throw off the rest of his schedule and means Mark has to be awake to watch him while I get ready.

To add to the fun, he then he refused to nurse, which meant I had to make him a bottle. Again, not a big deal, but just enough to throw off the schedule a bit. Plus it snowed last night, so Mark was out shoveling and I was preparing to take Camden to daycare on icy, slippery roads.

Just as we were ready to leave to daycare (mind you, I was already running a bit late from the nursing refusal and the snow), Camden decided to have one of his famous poop explosions - one of the worst yet. It was all up his back and all over the cute outfit I had him in. So we had to change him. I had the fun task of washing off his back and his bum. Mark had the fun task of washing the chunks of poo of the clothes (hope you are not eating breakfast as you read that).

Finally, I had him ready again and we headed out the door. The driving was slow because of the snow, but we made it to daycare safe and sound. I dropped Cam off, gave him a BIG kiss, and headed back to work. I made it to work just as the 2nd bell was starting to ring. My 1st hour class was waiting in the hall and hoping I wouldn't show up (Poor kids - get their hopes up and then I DASH them to pieces! Muhaha!).

It can only go up from here right?

Forever Infertile

I’ve recently discovered a world of infertility related blogs out there – some LDS, most not, some with people adopting, others who are pg, and others who are still trying. As I found this hidden world I thought, “Where were you when I was going through this?!?!” During my infertility, I did have the support of a few others going through something similar. We found each other on an LDS board and posted together quite a bit. Then one by one they got pg and I was almost alone out there in infertile world. It was a very lonely feeling.

I’ve been thinking a lot about infertility these days, specifically all we went through to get Camden. Infertility will always be a part of my life. It played such a significant role for 3.5 years of my life and, just because I have one child, it doesn’t mean that I am still not infertile. In spite of having a baby, I still see myself as infertile. I sometimes call myself a recovering infertile because it is still so much a part of me, even though I have been blessed with one truly magnificent child.

I think this is on my mind so much because Camden is now 9 months old, which means we’re getting closer to when we want to start trying for another. I realize how blessed I am to be able to have even one. I know there are others out there who have none and envy me for my one. I know there are some who might say I should be content with just one. And if all I ever had was Camden, I would be so grateful for him. But I do want more. I want him to have a sibling. I loved being pregnant so much and love being a mom so much that I want to do it again. I want Camden to have a brother or sister close in age. I want him to have that special connection that comes with a sibling. Camden completed Mark and I in so many ways. He took us from two to three and made us a family. I want to add to that.

As the time draws closer to trying to conceive, I get a bit scared. I wonder what it will take this time to have a baby. My secret wish is that we’ll get really lucky and conceive on our own in just a few cycles. But having wanted that before and being denied it, I wonder how long it may take this time. Will it take years or will it be just a few months? Will we have to use expensive medications or will my body work on its own? I don’t know and it scares me. Having Camden, I can say the previous trial was worth it. I would do it again to get another child. I am willing to do it again to have another baby. But I would prefer not to if at all possible. I would prefer an easy conception this time around.

I don’t think that fear will ever go away completely. No matter how much faith or trust I have that things will work out for the best (and I do have that), it’s scary to contemplate going through again. Infertility sucked the life out of me last time. It took me to the darkest place I’ve ever been. It took me to the edge of losing my testimony and back. I don’t want to have that happen again. I know I can just look at Camden this time and know that miracles happened. It happened once before and it can happen again. I would just like this time to be easy.

Because of what we went through before, we won’t tell people when we start trying or that we are trying. It was too hard last time to have so many people analyzing me and watching every thing I did. If I was sick, people automatically asked if I was pregnant. If I missed work or did anything out of the ordinary, people asked if I was pregnant. My secret hope, beyond getting pregnant easily, is to be able to announce a pregnancy with very few people knowing we were actually trying.

I hope as the time gets closer, I can let go of this fear that is steadily building in me. I pray that this time will be easier. But no matter what, I have something this time that I didn’t have last time – Camden. He is my living miracle. He is proof of the blessing and miracle I received once before. He gives me the courage to try again, knowing how worth it he was and how willingly I would go through it again to get another baby.

Revamping my resolutions part 2

Tracking what I ate was certainly illuminating. I knew I had some diet downfalls, but this woke me up to reality. I did ok on last weeks goals, but failed miserably on the whole chocolate/sugar thing. So in addition to keeping last week's goals, my goals for this week are:

1. Watch portion size. Increase veggie and fruit portions and decrease the rest.
2. Snack sensibly. Eat healthy snacks and premeasure snacks to prevent overeating.
3. Analyze why I am eating - because I am hungry or because of being tired, stressed, depressed, etc.

New update next week!

Another poopie post

You may remember my discussion of the jet propulsion properties of Camden when he poops. Well, the boy scores again! Mark just called and told me that Camden pooped through another diaper. But this time the smart boy missed his own clothes and aimed the extra towards Mark's clothing. Mark looked down and wondered what he got on his sweater. Then he realized what it was. Yup, this time Mark has to change Camden's diaper and then his own clothes. What a good boy I have. Good aim Camden!