Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Hand over the Chocolate and nobody gets hurt

I'm three days into the new year and my resolutions and right now, I'd almost kill for some chocolate. One of my resolutions is to lose weight and so far, all I can think about is chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate. This is not helping my weigh loss efforts. I just tore my classroom apart looking for an elusive piece of chocolate - all of which I cleared out before the break - so my craving goes unfulfilled. It's all Camden's fault. Lest you think badly of how my angel boy must be acting in order to make me crave chocolate to such a degree, let me explain.

Before getting pregnant with Cam, I went on Weight Watchers and had lost 15 pounds when I found out I was expecting. Because I had been doing Weight Watchers, I had totally kicked my sugar addiction. The first trimester of pregnancy, any processed sugar made me sick, so it was easy to keep eating healthy. Then the holidays of last year hit and along with that, a sweet tooth like no other. Along with that sweet tooth came a new found love of chocolate. You see, before pregnancy, I didn't like chocolate all that much. I ate it occasionally, but it was something I could live without. I know that is shocking to many of you chocolate lovers who cannot go a day without it, but for me, chocolate was just there - something to eat a small piece of now and then.

During the third trimester, all of a sudden, chocolate became life to me! I couldn't go a day without it. Before, if we had chocolate, I'd eat a little and Mark would eat the rest. Now I was wrestling the chocolate out of his hands. My favorite excuse was "The baby wants it." I thought the craving would go away after delivery, but nope, it didn't.

While pregnant with Cam, I gained 20 pounds and I lost 30 after his birth. I thought I was doing pretty good, until the cravings wouldn't go away. Tired combined with no will power, causing me to gain back 5 of the pounds I lost. As I realized that, I once again vowed to break my sugar and chocolate addiction with the new year.

I knew it wouldn't be easy, so I made sure to clean out as much sugar and chocolate from my house as possible. I also promised not to beat myself up if I couldn't stop cold turkey in the beginning. And I've had a few pieces of sugar here and there over the past few days when the cravings get bad - mainly Lifesavers candy. But no chocolate.

And so I sit here at school, wanting chocolate. One of my teacher friends across the hall has a stash, but I am keeping myself from going over to ask for some. I am going to make this resolution work. I will break this addiction. Surprisingly, writing this entry has taken a bit of my craving away. Maybe I should try this whenever I get a craving!

Side note from Mark: So if you should hear or read a news story that speaks of a masked woman rampaging through the chocolate aisles of the local grocery stores just smile and nod and HAND OVER THE CHOCOLATE!!

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